Fashion! Put it all on me...don't you wanna see these clothes on me?

Ahhh, I know I am so far behind in my postings. Many fun stories to come!

Legally Fabulous.

But today is a fashion post!

Yours truly is now the proud owner of a PINK SUIT!!!

I always knew this day would come- and it's finally here! Sadly, summer is almost over as this is my last week working so I doubt I will get the thing to a tailor in time to actually debut my new favorite look.

But, this post is not all about me.

SPOTTED:

A very attractive blonde lady judge here at the Court of Appeal in a white miniskirt! I was very suprised by the audacity of this one, but, I must admit, she looks great! Her legs were tan and toned. In a way, she is my new legal idol. Step aside, Elle Woods, step aside.

The Intern says... Parte Uno

Ugh...so I have a co-intern at one job that is ridiculous. She says the most ridiculous things. She's older as far as law students go but you would never be able to tell. Aside from her constant stories that begin.... "When I was working in DC/on the Hill...." she looks probably about 23-24. Lucky biotch! ;)

Well, let me tell you I have had enough. The following quotes are the reason why:

~"I can't stand people that wear crosses...it's not like I would wear a guillotine on my neck!"

~"Well, they probably don't even have dental records in Russia!!"

{Re: Mel Gibson's fiancé's claim that he punched out her teeth.}

Her: Well, Paris Hilton has really calmed down.

Me: YEAH, I think she grew out of it...homegirl is pushing 30.

Her: Gee, thanks! {taking offense at the age remark, I guess?}

Me: Umm, were you in jail for a violating probation? Trust me, I was NOT making a comparison to you.

~"What the heck pedestrian why would you walk through a crosswalk when it's rush hour?!"

{NOTE: This is an actual legal crosswalk in SaMo}

~"What's the point of having a community college in Compton. I mean if they were smart why would people stay there?"

HER: "I refuse to go to another jail...I'm sick of men ogling me!"

ME: "Are you suggesting men don't ogle you in the real world?"

{Answer: ???!??!??}

Now, let me say this with a caveat: I say some really ridiculous things. Half the time, my intention is to get a rise out of people. But there is a time and a place. In the workplace, in front of superiors, is NOT the place!

BANG BANG!

{not a bad shot...right}

So, TODAY my fellow interns and I got to go the the LA Sheriff's Special Enforcement Bureau to train with their weapons. To better appreciate the work of the department....of course....

but hey it was super cool!

I got meet some great officers and a really sweet K9 dog named Kenzo! I guess he is super friendly for a police dog and we got to pet him. So adorable.

Anyhoo! I got to shoot a Beretta 9mm.

It was super heavy and ready hard to load with my tiny mits.

THEN, I got to try the MP5K- this is a semi/fully automatic gun and I got to shoot it on both settings. If you refer to the pic:

The triangle was with the 9mm.

The middle square was both 9mm and MP5K.

#1- was the deputy's demo.

#2 WAS ALL ME BABY. [check out the perfect mark]

#3 ALL ME.

#4-#5- that was me too. with the MP5K [not that good of a shot- that gun is way HEAVY]

Bottom square- was the MP5K on fully auto.

Conclusion: I am a badass. I really wouldn't want to mess with me in a dark alley.

\that is....if i am armed with a weapon..../

Adventures with Verizon Wireless

Wow. I am completely spent.

How much you wanna bet my family is more ridiculous than yours?!?!

After playing hookie for the better part of my day {I was recovering from a stomach bug} I came home excited to order the NEW Droid Incredible!!!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

So, I grabbed my computer to do a little research- Amazon.com had the Incredible on the cheap so I started there. But, being the paranoid that I am, I decided to call Verizon to ensure I wasn't about to be royally screwed. So I talked to a wonderful woman named Lisa. Lisa gave me the lowdown on ordering from third parties...they're not liable...blah blah.

Maybe better that I order from Verizon then, right?

WRONG!

I can't get on the account. I call my sister, my grandparents, I enter in ALL the correct information and nothing! Crappy.

The following occurred in this order:

1. I called up Verizon to place the order.

2. The completely inept woman places me on hold for the better part of an hour and orders the phone, sends it to my grandparents' house. Tells me I can call Fed effing EX with the confirmation number.

3. I cannot receive the confirmation number because it will be emailed to my grandparents' email.

AWESOME.

4. I get disconnected...bye bye to Verizon's weakest link.

5. I call back and talk to Julian.

6. Julian cancels my order- I won't hear back for 5 days.

7. I talk to woman #2- techie to get the online account set up.

8. Techie tells me the account is linked to my sister's number and we need her permission.

9. Together, techie and I call my sister- she has no idea what the password is.

AWESOME.

{Insert diatribe on how grandma is an "effing idiot" because she changed the password in the Family Power Struggle circa 2008 when she discovered my sister registered the account in her name and on her number...did she bother to change the primary number...NO!}

10. Techie asks permission to wipe the account.

11. MY SISTER SAYS NO!

12. I go off {with techie on phone} telling my sister that she needs to relinquich control or NO ONE is getting on this effing online account.

13. My sister finally consents.

Shortly after, I sent the following email:

Hello Family,

Well, after spending over an hour on the phone with Verizon and because no one could figure out the passwords AND because Malorie's phone number was the primary number listed, I have taken over.

If you ever need this information it is not only committed to my memory, but also memorialized on a Word document on my computer.

Did I get the DROID incredible? Nope. Not yet anyways.

Le sigh.

Casual Fridays

Happy FRIDAY!{LOVE her style...}

I find it so amazing that Casual Fridays can be my most fashionable days.

Roll up the sleeves on a suit jacket = super trendy blazer look.

Throw on a pair of dark jeans, heels and a nice top= GOOD TO GO!

[I love that I could go from day to night with a swipe of mascara and some red lips!!!]

Victory!

And victory is not mine alone- after a stunning LAKERS victory last night to end my Thursday night, I can't tell you how happy I am that it is finally Friday.

Seriously, my weeks go on forever.

This week was a little rough with work, family and the good ol love life. Last night I think I reached a really good place though with the love of my life.

So, I am hopeful!

Makin' the law, MAKIN' THE LAW!

Doesn't Lady Justice look sexy here?

Such a fail....

I have yet to update on job numero dos.

I've worked a few days at the California Court of Appeal for a wonderful Justice. I honestly just wish he could be my grandpa. He is the cutest man! I stop by each day just to say hello and we talk about one of my favorite things....THE LAKERS! Today we switched it up and discussed a little baseball, he actually got to see Ted Williams play a Fenway!

As girly as I may be....I do love me some sports.

Anyways- it would not be fair to keep secret my most embarrassing experience.

On my first day at the court, we had a little sit down with one of the CA Supreme Court Justices. Things were fine until he wrapped up our discussion. I went to leave the room and I saw the lady next to my stand up and begin to walk...what I thought was right alongside me....

Next thing I know I am crashing to the floor!

The people by me start shouting calling MORE attention to my unfortunate state.

Crashing may not actually be the right word, it was the most graceful fall I've ever had.

I landed neatly on my side!

But, nevertheless I have a HUGE purple bruise on my side....

He definitely wasn't looking for a vocabulary test...

Happy Friday!

So, as much as I berate my colleagues for their ridiculous tendencies, there I times where I join the rest of them.

id est: today in my apartment's elevator. one of our elevators has been on the fritz.

One day, it works, the next it won't!

I get lucky enough to pick it up on the main level and I reach the 5th floor and a man gets on,

so I tell him we are about to climb another 6 floors.

He asks me, "when are they going to fix that other elevator?"

As the door opens, I answer, "Well, it has been working intermittently"

He replies, "She says it's been working intermittently."

Mental head slap.

Workin' 9-5....feeling a little CBG

OK- it is 1 AM PST....WTF is wrong with me?

Jet lag from my Hawaiian getaway is still getting the best of me- terrible.

Anyhoooo, HELLO!

Today was my first day of work ya'll! Because I am a crazy person and decided to work a full 40 hours when I could've gotten away with 3 or 4, I've undertaken not one but TWO legal internships...go ME.

So, let's see. The work I'm going to be doing at job number one is AWESOME. Confidentiality is really gonna cramp my style a bit though since I won't get to share any of the nitty gritty. But, basically, I am working for an office that investigates the Sheriff's Department. On my first day I got to read case files and have really candid discussions with a couple of the attorneys. AND, I will get to go on several field trips so that will be fabulous.

I also met one of the two co-interns with whom I will be sharing a small conference room. She is a rising 2L- therefore "younger" than me. BUT, she seems to be a know-it-all and just may know her stuff. BUT, she also goes to our rival law school (MY rival school since undergrad). Soooo, for now I'll withhold judgment and hopefully will gain more perspective on that.

Here's what I gleaned from our initial meet: She is 4 years older than me. She looks younger than me (hrm, something about the eyebrows). She worked in DC for a big firm and doesn't want to do it again. She is a very serious student. I even learned that she rewrote all of her notes at the end of each class. Whatever works, right?

And this brings me to my new little title: CBG.

COVERT BAD GIRL

You see, as a friend put it, there are bad girls who get caught and bad girls who are too good to get caught (ok, I may have revamped a bit).

It may just be a mindset at this point but I am feeling a little CBG.

Summer has set in, let's see what kinda trouble I can stir up. I don't know, I just feel playful!

Work hard

(Did I mention 40 hour weeks? UGH).

PLAY HARDER

It's the FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!

LAST FINAL IS TODAY!

Criminal Procedure ain't got NOTHIN' on me.

Feeling Frumpy

OK, I suck, I suck!

I still haven't posted my belated posts, just trust I will!

Anyways, studying at the lib today and I'm feeling a little frumpy. As you know it is finals time so the concerted efforts I usually put towards my appearance have zeroed in on less appealing topics. For now, that topic is Marital Property. YUCK.

Feeling low about my outwardly unfortunate look:

A bright pink tee, shorts that are (at least) a size too big, and UNPAINTED toenails.

As luck would have it, my spirits quickly brightened when I noticed my neighbor's outfit:

Royal blue sweatpants with white socks exposed under brown flats and a buttoned up sweater coat.

Some other unfortunate sightings include:

1. Snuggies

2. Males in wife beater tanks

3. Visible panty lines- but really, nothing new there!

Thank God, I only FEEL like the frumpiest at the lib.

It's been FAR too long!

My little blog, I have missed you so!

With finals just around the corner I promise to catch up with the many

overdue belated posts.

It has just been too damn long!!!!

Much has happened and YOU need to know all about it!

I promise I will be back, VERY SOON.

xo

I just want to soak in your relaxation

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."

After a whirlwind of a start to my semester things are calming down.

The eye of the storm has officially arrived!

So what if I am going to be hating my busy bee life again soon?!?! I have so many wonderful things to remember and to look forward to!

To Remember:

[in no particular order]

1. Wine tasting with friends, old and new!

2. Winning my law school's raffle for Haiti.

I get my teeth cleaned, xrayed and whitened. All for $5 worth of raffle tickets!

3. Helping the beau move into his very first house!!!

Feelin' proud.

4. Going on my first law school field trip.

5. Unexpected chit chats with family and friends.

They keep me going!

To Anticipate:

1. A possible vacation?!

2. A trip to Disneyland with my 7 year old baby sister.

3. Spending a long weekend with my mommie.

4. BARRISTER'S BALL.

5. Making sure that next year I am healthy and sane.

By learning when to say NO.

So this one time, in jail...

I went on my very first law school field trip today!!!

To Jail!

So the boss lady takes her Crim Pro class on a jail tour every year. I had the pleasure of riding along and boy was I surprised.

So... in County Jail....

1. All the men are colored coded in uniforms. Green is for the light offenders, blue for medium and orange is for the high risk guys.

(Scary)

2. Inmates get 3 hours of outside time...A WEEK.

(Period. Oh, and the orange guys are confined to a cage even outside!)

3. Otherwise they eat their meals, hang out, read, and even use the restroom in a cell shared by 4 others.

(In years prior they've had up to 8 in a single cell...with only 6 beds inside)

4. Homosexuals have their own living quarters.

(They are the only ones that have access to a TV 24/7)

5. The temperature is not to exceed 70 degrees.

(No windows, just good old recycled air)

6. Inmates do have full access to healthcare.

(AIDS cocktails, dental, etc...)

7. They get 3 meals a day, deputies admit the food is crap but one meal is served hot.

(Dinner)

8. Every time we walked by the inmates had to face the wall.

9. The average stay is 42 days.

(Just until they are sentenced usually.)

10. It was the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever had.

It really was such a fascinating experience. I know people really hype up the conditions in jail, but honestly, it is not as good as some would like you to believe. The men are treated like dogs. Deputies bark orders and they follow.

The jail I visited is the largest one in the "free world" (no pun intended). And while so many of them looked like criminals, tattoos and all, others looked like normal people. Someone you could easily see at the mall or an amusement park or wherever.

I couldn't help but think how sad it is.

:(

February Begins!

Happy February!!!

Good old February is my most favorite month!!!

What February Means:

1. It means anniversaries! Me and my boo got together 8 years ago today!

[Yes, it's been tumultuous but I like him a lot. I think I'll keep him]

2. It means Mardi Gras! Yay for parties and second chances on those New Years Resolutions!

[Whip them right up and make them Lenton resolutions]

3. It means love!!!

[And we all know how much I love love looooove LOVE]

And 4. good measure- It means gorgeous winter love glow. :)

[see what I just did there]

Oh, and on the law school front, it means I get to chill out a bit come this Friday!!!!

Hallelujah!

Am I the only one??

Happy Friday!

Does anyone but me feel like a break would be much appreciated???

Venting

So here I am in my home away from home.

[I hope by now I don't need to tell you I'm in the library.]

And some Schmuck [yes, I know Yiddish] walks in giving a group of bright eyed prospectives a tour.

First off, tours of the library always make me feel weird. Like I am a caged animal at the zoo. Second, law school tours are kinda dumb when you think about it. I know because I've given them.

["Look kids, here's the cafeteria, a random empty classroom and the LIBRARY... isn't law school exciting?!?"]

But I digress. So this person walks by and comments, 'ummm, I really don't know why people are in the library right now...'

Grrr. Freakin' GRRRR. Here I am on a Friday morning in the library. I get it, my life sucks. Confirming that fact to 20 prospectives doesn't make you look cool. And it doesn't make me any happier to be here.

In response: I indignantly stuck my tongue out at him.

[...yeah, that'll teach HIM!]

Love is all you need...

Loving that Thursday is my Friday!!!

So, I haven't posted in far too long but let me just tell you- life is INSANE. Details of the ridiculousness will surely follow...

Anyways, for the time being, I just wanted to give a shout out to my main manfriend. My wonderful guy. I've been having a rough week. [and it's one Week 1.5] I called him for a little pep talk but unfortch he was being a big kid and had busy work like things to do.

NOTE: If you don;t want to be subjected to a little ooey-gooeyness

STOP reading here!

To lift my spirits though he sent me a little message:

At 1:20 PM

Smile baby...and I want a real one cuz its the most beautiful one I know.

And if I didn't say it loud enough, I LOOVE you.

Even though he doesn't read this, thanks hunnie!!! You made my day!

Caught in a Bad Romance

Happy Wednesday!

Today marks the first (real) day of Spring 2010. While some of us- for instance, yours truly- started on Monday, many law students begin the second part of their academic year on this beautiful, sunny, California day.

Hello Socal Winter!!!

Anyhoo, with the start of a new semester I can’t help but feel that pang of excited anticipation- which is quickly followed by semi truck collision of apprehension. As you might have heard, like, in the preceding post, I went to the Lady Gaga concert (I know, I won’t drop it). And I’ve decided my relationship with law school is one bad romance.

Here’s Why:

1. “I want your ugly, I want your disease...”

Law School Abuse: I used to feel like a superstar. Rejection for most incoming law students is really not their thing. No was never a word any of us heard a whole lot in our past lives. NOW: Rejection is the name of the law school game. Rejection NOW just means someone is better, TRY HARDER. It’s awful but I can hear the self doubt. Battered Law Student Syndrome, if you will!

2. “I want your drama, the touch of your hand...”

Law School = High School! Everyone knows it! From rumored make outs, to rumored stalking, rumored cheating I’ve heard people accused of all sorts of things. And I haven’t escaped it- trust you me!

3. “I want your love, I want your revenge...”

Obsession: Sometimes it seems I just can’t get enough. No matter what, I go back from more. I live a very involved law school life. I’m on SBA, Admissions Student Panels, I’m a Research Assistant. I live on campus- and yet I keep saying yes to Law School.

....You know that I want you, And you know that I need you, I want a bad, BAD ROMANCE....

Enter G-Chat:

Classmate: how was your break?

me: haha - yeah. my break was way too short

Classmate: ditto, im not ready

me: i dunno im started to get excited but ill probably feel really different in a week

Classmate: exactly

Don't Let it Go Away, This Feeling has got to Stay...

Happy New Year!

Back to school, back to school

...and did I mention two days early?!

Anyhoo- it’s been awhile since I’ve updated. Finals ended with a bang and a pang of ‘shit that was harder than I expected.’ But, I made it through to my favorite event the END OF FINALS PARTY. The EOFP is one of the best events law school has to offer. Imagine hundreds of law students who have been sober for a month or more trying to let off some steam, forgetting that they have the alcohol tolerance of a toddler. This year was no different- except for my behavior. Exceptionally stellar.

Break passed quickly- a wedding, a LADY GAGA concert and cramming as much time with family and friends as possible.

And a new year means a new attitude.

This past year was all about learning. It was tough but it got better. And I want to remember that!

This new year is about staying present, positive and practical. Take things day by day.

Stay tuned for the ridiculousness of Spring 2010.