Wednesday, October 28, 2009

umm....can i get you a tissue?


As you have probably gathered, I live in the library. I spend probably as much time in the library as people do in their respective, big kid jobs. Boohoo for me....I KNOW! But that is not the point of this post!

So the library at my school is pretty laid back. You can bring in food, drinks, blankets, whatever. But one thing a person should never bring into the library is the sniffles!

Ew, where do I begin. This individual sitting across from me (well, he was, but we'll get to that) is disgusting. The man has a cold, which fine, its flu season- I trust most responsible adults would bring Purel and be considerate.

Well not this one!!!

(Preface: I have a favorite spot in the back where I can sit an observe both the view of the outside neighborhood-a.k.a the ghetto- and my fellow classmates as they walk in and out.)

As I sat in my little library cubicle someone sits across from me. He's got a little sniffle. But just a few minutes into our library relationship out of the corner of my eye I see some movement. Homeboy is PICKING HIS NOSE.

It started out rather discreetly, but then apparently he got a little more bold and REALLY started digging.

Sniffle, sniffle, dig, dig, DIG.

I was traumatized. I tried staring at him- that didn't work. Apparently his eye was so focused on the 'prize' that he didn't seem to notice me. I tried clearing my throat- nope, nothin'.

In the end- I dramatically gathered my things and I moved. Yep- go me and my passive aggressiveness! In my next life, maybe I'll have the courage to hand him a tissue, but because this relationship was so fleeting. I think it best to just pull a simple fade out and concede my favorite spot.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

IRAC your life

Last year as a 1L, I learned the infamous "IRAC" method. You know: Issue, Rule, Analysis, Conclusion. A few friends of mine actually turned this method into something rather useful. We would often "IRAC" our lives and usually came up with some insightful findings.

Anyways, this chick takes this to a whole new level. She posted her IRAC of a case:

You and Me Doing It v. You and Me Not Doing It

Here it is, posted for your enjoyment:


You’re in my class at law school. You are tall, dark and very masculine. I find you quite attractive and it’s really distracting. I find reasons to look in your direction during class and I blatantly stare at you whenever we pass by one another. You seem to be returning the looks but I can’t figure out if you’re eye-raping me back, or if it’s more of a “what the fuck is this girl staring at” kind of look. I’m not Megan Fox, but if I was a guy, I don’t think I’d kick me out of bed, so I dare to hope it’s the former?

Anyway, we’re expected to absorb class material sufficiently enough to one day pass the bar exam, and this is difficult when I’m more focused on what’s behind your zipper. It’s probably distracting to you as well for some chick to be gawking at you while you’re trying to cram massive amounts of information into your brain. (And I’m thinking about cramming appendages of yours into orifices of mine.)


Should we have wild, crazy, meaningless animal sex?


Distractions can be very detrimental to success in law school, and should be eliminated whenever possible.


As detailed above in the facts, my desire to be plowed by you is a major distraction from my studies. It’s got to be a distraction to you as well since it’s probably unnerving to be stared at by a predatory sex-starved woman as if she wants to take a bite out of you. Per the above rule, this distraction to both of us needs to be eliminated for us to graduate from law school and pass the bar exam.

Solution? We get it on! I get it out of my system. You not only get laid, but you get the added benefit of not feeling my eyes burning into the side of your head (or your crotch) all through class. We move happily along with our legal education unimpeded by the distraction of sexual tension.

Afraid of possible disadvantages? I’ll address any potential concerns here. The quotes are you, and my response follows.

“Will I catch any diseases?” Nope. Clean as a whistle. Just got out of a long-term relationship and have only been with one person for the past 3 years. Got tested anyway though, and all is well in My-Vagina Land. (Except for its burning desire to be filled with your throbbing manhood.)

“Will you stalk me, or expect a relationship or commitment in return?” NO. You get free NSA sex. As mentioned above, I’m recently out of a long-term relationship. I’m not ready for another one nor do I have the time.

“What if it’s really bad, and we end up having to awkwardly avoid one another in class for the next 4 years?” I don’t plan on it being bad, at least on my end. Hopefully our encounter (or encounters, if it was so crazy awesome we decided to make it an ongoing FB arrangement) would go as follows: We leave class after our respective long days of work and school, both cranky, irritable and in desperate need of blowing off some steam. We go to your place or mine, whichever is closer. Maybe we engage in various acts of foreplay, or maybe we’re both ready to get to the main attraction so fuck it. You look like you would be HUGE, but I will still bravely tackle that monster and try my best to deep throat the whole thing. You then throw me down on the bed, floor, or any available surface, and have your way with me. This would ideally involve some spanking, hair pulling, and/or explicit dirty talk.

“What if a lot of women in the class stare at me, and I’m not sure which one you are? What if you’re one of the old or fat chicks, or really ugly?” I’m not going to describe my exact appearance because I will die of embarrassment if someone else in the class sees this and even speculates as to who I am. (Particularly a man I have dubbed Leery McPervert who stares at me the way I probably stare at you. I don’t want that dirty old man getting a boner knowing I’m all juiced up in class.) Yes I know I haven’t even identified the law school, but I’m paranoid so bite me. (I mean that in the vernacular sense. But if you want to take it literally, I’d enjoy that too.) Anyway, I’m close to your age (twentysomething). When I look at myself I see “cute” but I get told I’m “pretty,” “beautiful” even. I’m not perfect, but I get hit on, catcalled and sexually harassed frequently enough to assume I must be at least somewhat doable. I even think I’ve seen you giving me a look or two. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.


For both of us to succeed in law school and ultimately pass the bar exam (and for me to not end up on the Megan’s Law website for losing all self-restraint, walking across the room in the middle of class, and mounting you), we will need to have sex ASAP. Sexual proposition affirmed.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Quick Thought

(you are not here)

My Thought of the Day:

While getting a law degree will hopefully enhance one's life in a multitude of ways, personally I have stumbled across some occasions that give me some concern.

Today, I was reminded of one of them.

As a part of my school's SBA (think High School student council, seriously), I receive a lot of emails that I am CC'd on. In the past few days I've received a couple that worry me.

Who are these people and why must they write like they are drafting a "Summary of the Argument" for the US Supreme Court?
A word to the wise: words like "First of all" and "Moreover" have no place in the exchange of menial emails over scheduling conflicts.

Case in point: It is my sincere hope that you take my concerns in this email seriously and take appropriate measures to cure these conflicts, including some of the remedies I've suggested. I, and the (insert club) of Loyola, look forward to your prompt response.

Really people? No one needs an official prayer for relief. The oddest part is that I know the original correspondents on this email and they're hang out on weekend friends.


That is all, thank you.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Java, java, java!

So, as I commenced upon my 5th hour straight in the library, I decided to grab one of my new favorite library treats:

Diet Cherry Coke!

I asked my friend if she wanted to join me and she declined, claiming she decided to limit her caffeine intake.


I don't get it. I've always been astounded by the number of people who are still under the impression that caffeine is bad for you. I've read that the benefits outweigh the risks, so long as you stay within an acceptable amount.

Two cups of coffee= Acceptable.

So I did some "Google-ing." Here's what I found


*For those of us who hit the bottle: Can benefit people who are at high-risk for liver disease.

*For those of us who hit the gym: Increases muscle strength.

*For those of us who should be hitting the gym: Increases metabolism by breaking down fat, freeing fatty acids and forcing them to be burned. (Caffeine is the most active ingredient in many diet pills.)

*For those of us who've been hit: Increases pain relief medication effects.

*For study bugs: Increases mental faculty.

*For people like ME: Reduces asthma symptoms.

Risks: (NOTE: This is only if you have TOO MUCH Caffeine)






*High blood pressure

*Sleeplessness (umm...really?!)

*Rapid heartbeat


Lesson learned:

Drink Up, just not too much.

You will be alert, skinny, strong and smart!

Friday, October 16, 2009


Hello, hello!

So, after another long week....Friday is here!

The best part about still being a student is that my weeks are still just four short and sweet days. I slept in this morning, and am now enjoying my first cup of coffee! Since I have all day I am going to take advantage of the sunshine and lay out by the pool.

Which reminds me! Good news everyone: I am joining the gym here at my apartment complex! Even though it is a little small and pricier than most, I just know that I will go and use the gym on a daily basis since it is just a 1 minute walk. Exercise is so important!

Healthy Body = Healthy and Happy Mind!

Monday, October 12, 2009


So, today is a big day! I have an interview for a Trial Ad class!

First up: A four minute memorized closing argument. Still not completely committed to memory, but I guess there is a little time left!

Then: The interview: praying the word vomit stays down and I do ok! Half of the questions on the questionnaire deal with things like OCI and interviews...psshhh...let's not get ahead of ourselves! I have yet to interview for a single job position for the upcoming summer.
(SIDE NOTE: if you're not in law school--you may not know but probably 10% already have summer employment and the other 85- 90% are freaking out because they don''s insanity.)

Wish my's time to put on that interview suit.

Grey suit, pink top and black heels! Pull the hair back, suck it in for the nude nylons and I am set! :)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

October SUCKS

There, I said it.

This month is scary crazy busy!!! Even though my life is a ton of fun, for some reason, everything school related sneaks up on me!

Here is a breakdown:

October 3-5: Temecula for a wedding!

October 9: Laker Game!!!

October 17: Auction event at school! (More to come next week.)

October 23: 25 Page Rough Draft due!

October 25-ish: Turn in a 25 Page Rough Draft for Appellate Advocacy.

October 28: Law School Halloween Party!

October 31: My favorite holiday....Halloweenie!

And on top of all of that, my Google Calendar is a complete cluster f@ck! Meetings, happy hours, dinner dates, work projects and more! The life of a law student is insane.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The life of this 2L

Weekend: Wedding. More discussion to come on that topic very shortly: here

Monday: Wake up, library all day. Class, library, class, sleep.

Tuesday: Wake up (earlyyyyy!!!), turn in rough draft. Then class (where I realize my rough draft sucks). Then, library, class, library, sleep.

Anyone see a theme here?!

Basically, I am ( you say...) out of my mind! I have 50 pages of written work due by November 3rd. There was some serious underestimating on my part and here I am- screwed.

Eff you, October. You are going to suck- big time.