The Intern says... Parte Uno

Ugh...so I have a co-intern at one job that is ridiculous. She says the most ridiculous things. She's older as far as law students go but you would never be able to tell. Aside from her constant stories that begin.... "When I was working in DC/on the Hill...." she looks probably about 23-24. Lucky biotch! ;)

Well, let me tell you I have had enough. The following quotes are the reason why:

~"I can't stand people that wear crosses...it's not like I would wear a guillotine on my neck!"

~"Well, they probably don't even have dental records in Russia!!"

{Re: Mel Gibson's fiancé's claim that he punched out her teeth.}

Her: Well, Paris Hilton has really calmed down.

Me: YEAH, I think she grew out of it...homegirl is pushing 30.

Her: Gee, thanks! {taking offense at the age remark, I guess?}

Me: Umm, were you in jail for a violating probation? Trust me, I was NOT making a comparison to you.

~"What the heck pedestrian why would you walk through a crosswalk when it's rush hour?!"

{NOTE: This is an actual legal crosswalk in SaMo}

~"What's the point of having a community college in Compton. I mean if they were smart why would people stay there?"

HER: "I refuse to go to another jail...I'm sick of men ogling me!"

ME: "Are you suggesting men don't ogle you in the real world?"

{Answer: ???!??!??}

Now, let me say this with a caveat: I say some really ridiculous things. Half the time, my intention is to get a rise out of people. But there is a time and a place. In the workplace, in front of superiors, is NOT the place!

BANG BANG!

{not a bad shot...right}

So, TODAY my fellow interns and I got to go the the LA Sheriff's Special Enforcement Bureau to train with their weapons. To better appreciate the work of the department....of course....

but hey it was super cool!

I got meet some great officers and a really sweet K9 dog named Kenzo! I guess he is super friendly for a police dog and we got to pet him. So adorable.

Anyhoo! I got to shoot a Beretta 9mm.

It was super heavy and ready hard to load with my tiny mits.

THEN, I got to try the MP5K- this is a semi/fully automatic gun and I got to shoot it on both settings. If you refer to the pic:

The triangle was with the 9mm.

The middle square was both 9mm and MP5K.

#1- was the deputy's demo.

#2 WAS ALL ME BABY. [check out the perfect mark]

#3 ALL ME.

#4-#5- that was me too. with the MP5K [not that good of a shot- that gun is way HEAVY]

Bottom square- was the MP5K on fully auto.

Conclusion: I am a badass. I really wouldn't want to mess with me in a dark alley.

\that is....if i am armed with a weapon..../

Adventures with Verizon Wireless

Wow. I am completely spent.

How much you wanna bet my family is more ridiculous than yours?!?!

After playing hookie for the better part of my day {I was recovering from a stomach bug} I came home excited to order the NEW Droid Incredible!!!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

So, I grabbed my computer to do a little research- Amazon.com had the Incredible on the cheap so I started there. But, being the paranoid that I am, I decided to call Verizon to ensure I wasn't about to be royally screwed. So I talked to a wonderful woman named Lisa. Lisa gave me the lowdown on ordering from third parties...they're not liable...blah blah.

Maybe better that I order from Verizon then, right?

WRONG!

I can't get on the account. I call my sister, my grandparents, I enter in ALL the correct information and nothing! Crappy.

The following occurred in this order:

1. I called up Verizon to place the order.

2. The completely inept woman places me on hold for the better part of an hour and orders the phone, sends it to my grandparents' house. Tells me I can call Fed effing EX with the confirmation number.

3. I cannot receive the confirmation number because it will be emailed to my grandparents' email.

AWESOME.

4. I get disconnected...bye bye to Verizon's weakest link.

5. I call back and talk to Julian.

6. Julian cancels my order- I won't hear back for 5 days.

7. I talk to woman #2- techie to get the online account set up.

8. Techie tells me the account is linked to my sister's number and we need her permission.

9. Together, techie and I call my sister- she has no idea what the password is.

AWESOME.

{Insert diatribe on how grandma is an "effing idiot" because she changed the password in the Family Power Struggle circa 2008 when she discovered my sister registered the account in her name and on her number...did she bother to change the primary number...NO!}

10. Techie asks permission to wipe the account.

11. MY SISTER SAYS NO!

12. I go off {with techie on phone} telling my sister that she needs to relinquich control or NO ONE is getting on this effing online account.

13. My sister finally consents.

Shortly after, I sent the following email:

Hello Family,

Well, after spending over an hour on the phone with Verizon and because no one could figure out the passwords AND because Malorie's phone number was the primary number listed, I have taken over.

If you ever need this information it is not only committed to my memory, but also memorialized on a Word document on my computer.

Did I get the DROID incredible? Nope. Not yet anyways.

Le sigh.

Casual Fridays

Happy FRIDAY!{LOVE her style...}

I find it so amazing that Casual Fridays can be my most fashionable days.

Roll up the sleeves on a suit jacket = super trendy blazer look.

Throw on a pair of dark jeans, heels and a nice top= GOOD TO GO!

[I love that I could go from day to night with a swipe of mascara and some red lips!!!]

Victory!

And victory is not mine alone- after a stunning LAKERS victory last night to end my Thursday night, I can't tell you how happy I am that it is finally Friday.

Seriously, my weeks go on forever.

This week was a little rough with work, family and the good ol love life. Last night I think I reached a really good place though with the love of my life.

So, I am hopeful!

Makin' the law, MAKIN' THE LAW!

Doesn't Lady Justice look sexy here?

Such a fail....

I have yet to update on job numero dos.

I've worked a few days at the California Court of Appeal for a wonderful Justice. I honestly just wish he could be my grandpa. He is the cutest man! I stop by each day just to say hello and we talk about one of my favorite things....THE LAKERS! Today we switched it up and discussed a little baseball, he actually got to see Ted Williams play a Fenway!

As girly as I may be....I do love me some sports.

Anyways- it would not be fair to keep secret my most embarrassing experience.

On my first day at the court, we had a little sit down with one of the CA Supreme Court Justices. Things were fine until he wrapped up our discussion. I went to leave the room and I saw the lady next to my stand up and begin to walk...what I thought was right alongside me....

Next thing I know I am crashing to the floor!

The people by me start shouting calling MORE attention to my unfortunate state.

Crashing may not actually be the right word, it was the most graceful fall I've ever had.

I landed neatly on my side!

But, nevertheless I have a HUGE purple bruise on my side....

He definitely wasn't looking for a vocabulary test...

Happy Friday!

So, as much as I berate my colleagues for their ridiculous tendencies, there I times where I join the rest of them.

id est: today in my apartment's elevator. one of our elevators has been on the fritz.

One day, it works, the next it won't!

I get lucky enough to pick it up on the main level and I reach the 5th floor and a man gets on,

so I tell him we are about to climb another 6 floors.

He asks me, "when are they going to fix that other elevator?"

As the door opens, I answer, "Well, it has been working intermittently"

He replies, "She says it's been working intermittently."

Mental head slap.

Workin' 9-5....feeling a little CBG

OK- it is 1 AM PST....WTF is wrong with me?

Jet lag from my Hawaiian getaway is still getting the best of me- terrible.

Anyhoooo, HELLO!

Today was my first day of work ya'll! Because I am a crazy person and decided to work a full 40 hours when I could've gotten away with 3 or 4, I've undertaken not one but TWO legal internships...go ME.

So, let's see. The work I'm going to be doing at job number one is AWESOME. Confidentiality is really gonna cramp my style a bit though since I won't get to share any of the nitty gritty. But, basically, I am working for an office that investigates the Sheriff's Department. On my first day I got to read case files and have really candid discussions with a couple of the attorneys. AND, I will get to go on several field trips so that will be fabulous.

I also met one of the two co-interns with whom I will be sharing a small conference room. She is a rising 2L- therefore "younger" than me. BUT, she seems to be a know-it-all and just may know her stuff. BUT, she also goes to our rival law school (MY rival school since undergrad). Soooo, for now I'll withhold judgment and hopefully will gain more perspective on that.

Here's what I gleaned from our initial meet: She is 4 years older than me. She looks younger than me (hrm, something about the eyebrows). She worked in DC for a big firm and doesn't want to do it again. She is a very serious student. I even learned that she rewrote all of her notes at the end of each class. Whatever works, right?

And this brings me to my new little title: CBG.

COVERT BAD GIRL

You see, as a friend put it, there are bad girls who get caught and bad girls who are too good to get caught (ok, I may have revamped a bit).

It may just be a mindset at this point but I am feeling a little CBG.

Summer has set in, let's see what kinda trouble I can stir up. I don't know, I just feel playful!

Work hard

(Did I mention 40 hour weeks? UGH).

PLAY HARDER