Adventures with Verizon Wireless

Wow. I am completely spent.

How much you wanna bet my family is more ridiculous than yours?!?!

After playing hookie for the better part of my day {I was recovering from a stomach bug} I came home excited to order the NEW Droid Incredible!!!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

So, I grabbed my computer to do a little research- Amazon.com had the Incredible on the cheap so I started there. But, being the paranoid that I am, I decided to call Verizon to ensure I wasn't about to be royally screwed. So I talked to a wonderful woman named Lisa. Lisa gave me the lowdown on ordering from third parties...they're not liable...blah blah.

Maybe better that I order from Verizon then, right?

WRONG!

I can't get on the account. I call my sister, my grandparents, I enter in ALL the correct information and nothing! Crappy.

The following occurred in this order:

1. I called up Verizon to place the order.

2. The completely inept woman places me on hold for the better part of an hour and orders the phone, sends it to my grandparents' house. Tells me I can call Fed effing EX with the confirmation number.

3. I cannot receive the confirmation number because it will be emailed to my grandparents' email.

AWESOME.

4. I get disconnected...bye bye to Verizon's weakest link.

5. I call back and talk to Julian.

6. Julian cancels my order- I won't hear back for 5 days.

7. I talk to woman #2- techie to get the online account set up.

8. Techie tells me the account is linked to my sister's number and we need her permission.

9. Together, techie and I call my sister- she has no idea what the password is.

AWESOME.

{Insert diatribe on how grandma is an "effing idiot" because she changed the password in the Family Power Struggle circa 2008 when she discovered my sister registered the account in her name and on her number...did she bother to change the primary number...NO!}

10. Techie asks permission to wipe the account.

11. MY SISTER SAYS NO!

12. I go off {with techie on phone} telling my sister that she needs to relinquich control or NO ONE is getting on this effing online account.

13. My sister finally consents.

Shortly after, I sent the following email:

Hello Family,

Well, after spending over an hour on the phone with Verizon and because no one could figure out the passwords AND because Malorie's phone number was the primary number listed, I have taken over.

If you ever need this information it is not only committed to my memory, but also memorialized on a Word document on my computer.

Did I get the DROID incredible? Nope. Not yet anyways.

Le sigh.